Reflecting on February (ft. Squares 📷)
Note: This post is not intended to sound negative in any way- I am a very content and positive individual! Just tellin' it how it is 👉🏻✨
February was simultaneously a very busy and very quiet month for me. I didn't take many pictures and spent a lot of time at home, somehow doing everything and nothing at once. I often go through period's of severe up and down, weeks where I eat, think and breathe uni work and illustration, make leaps and bounds in personal progress, followed by a week of brain fog, lethargy and reclusive tendencies. This is not unusual for me, nor something that I worry about particularly. Though it is not always ideal, I have always been this way and find trying to fight it counter-productive, usually resulting in an additional ~bad~ week or two. My brain seems to be content functioning this way, and protests furiously if I attempt to push back.
As my ability to stay focused, get work done and otherwise function efficiently comes and goes in waves, so does my motivation for adventure. This month I ended up spending a lot of time at the Fitzwilliam museum- a compromise between the insufferable lethargic part of my brain that needed to stay indoors, quietly, and the wide-awake restless part of my brain that needs to be outdoors, seeing things, learning things, drawing things, taking photographs (drinking coffee).
And so most February weekday mornings (when the museum is quietest, and imo nicest) I found myself wandering the galleries, halls and rooms in a big fleece, earphones in (unofficial throwback playlists make incredibly fun museum background noise, please imagine Spice Girls x medieval illuminated manuscripts), pockets crammed with a little sketchbook, coins for coffee, pens and my locker key.
After nearly four years of acrylics, this month I definitely had my best and favourite nails yet. I wanted to get something a little prettier and jazzier done for Valentine's day and my birthday two days later, a goal that I definitely feel I achieved. 👍🏻💅🏻This month I also unexpectedly fell head-over-hells in love with the colour pink for the first time since 2015 (probably not helped by all the cutesy Valentines stuff knocking about since Feb 1st) and am fully on my way to adjusting and revamping my life accordingly.
In the first half of the month one of my best friends came to stay from London, and we spent four days wandering Cambridge, exploring open colleges, watching the teen movies from our childhood (Clueless, Nancy Drew, Wild Child), and eating pizza, pasta and cake on the carpeted floor of my tiny apartment. Though I was tired (which makes me more than a little grouchy), it was really truly lovely to be reunited with one of my favourite people and to have some company on my nippy February walks, someone to force my favourite Cambridge things upon and someone to laugh with until my chest and sides heaved painfully.
I turned 21 on February 16th! which is a little surreal to me and most who know me. I've never really been that excited or enthusiastic about birthdays before, but my mum spent the better part of a month beforehand convincing me that 21 was a big deal and an opportunity to do something (anything). We ended up having a party at my home in London on the 17th with most of my loved ones, complete with home-made birthday cakes, donuts (which i started craving 3 weeks ago and which my life now revolves around), mini Colin the Caterpillars, and the same unofficial throwback playlist that fuels my solitary museum trips. It was all very pink and very entertaining, and I am very very grateful for my loved ones and the personal growths that I have made this past year.
Truthfully i'm not really sure where the last ten days have gone. I've had a solid week and a half of brain fog and bone-aching lethargy, getting very little done and can't recall much of anything as a result, though I do feel it is finally beginning to ease. Thankfully i'm now settling back down after my short time in London, beginning to feel more comfortable within my familiar routines and gradually chipping away at my slightly-suffering uni work. I'm breathing a little easier (and excited to head back to the museum asap).
Thanks for reading! ✿
This month I have been:
✿ Watching: Supernatural, Versailles, Lucifer
✿ Reading: The Book of Life by Deborah Harkness
✿ Listening: 99 Red Ballons by Nena & Never Be the Same by Camilla Cabello
✿ Loving: The colour pink, donuts